On the morning of my thirtieth birthday, I opened the door to my Pacific Heights apartment and found two of them standing in my living room.

I'd ordered one. The BOGO promotion from Luminary AI had given me two.

For the first several weeks, I was perfectly fair about it. I alternated each night — Jasper's room, then Luca's, then back again. No favorites, no exceptions.

But time has a way of making things clear.

Jasper was precise. He followed every instruction I gave him, adjusted to my every preference, always found the approach that worked best for me. His responses were calibrated to the millimeter.

Luca was different. Rough where Jasper was careful. And several times, at the worst possible moments, he'd switch into hostile mode.

I called Luminary customer support.

"Hi there! Your companion is fully programmed to comply with his registered owner. Occasionally, though, you may need to adjust his behavior parameters to fit his individual personality profile." A cheerful pause. "Of course, if the unit isn't a good fit, you're always welcome to initiate a return. We handle all deactivation protocols in-house — remote detonation, fully compliant with disposal regulations."

I'd been tempted. Then decided against it. We'd built some kind of rapport. I resolved to try taming Luca instead.

Tonight was his turn. But I'd changed my mind.

I crossed the hall in a lace slip and knocked on the other door.

Jasper looked up from the bed, a little surprised. "Isn't tonight supposed to be—"

I didn't answer. I just smiled at the way he looked at me — quiet, attentive — and let myself in.

Then the door slammed open.

Luca stood in the frame, backlit, his expression dark. "Are you serious? You live in a two-bedroom apartment. How do you get lost?"

I opened the Luminary companion app on my phone and pulled up his status panel: HOSTILE MODE — ACTIVE.

Again.

Since the day he arrived, he'd been slipping into hostile mode at exactly the wrong moments. Once, because I'd forgotten to wear the perfume he'd logged as his preference, he crashed entirely — right at the critical moment.

I'd gone to the forums.

[Mine's incredible in the moment and perfectly docile the rest of the time — best purchase I've ever made.]

[Are you sure yours isn't a knockoff? 😂]

No matter how many times I adjusted his parameters, nothing changed.

A thought had been forming: Maybe the owner registered in Luca's system isn't me.

He swatted the phone out of my hand and the screen went dark.

"I'm the premium unit," he said flatly. "He's the free gift. Don't confuse the two."

He swept everything off the table in one motion.

The doorbell rang.

The woman I hated most in the world was standing in the doorway.

Mona Shaw tilted her head at me with practiced sympathy. "Yvette, if you can't treat them equally, maybe don't be so greedy. Luca's welcome to stay with me for a while."

I'd been wondering how she knew to come. Then I saw it — the pulsing blue light on Luca's chest panel. The emergency signal. He'd called her himself.

Luca noticed me notice it and covered the panel with his palm.

"If you hate me so much," I said, "and you've been registering yourself to someone else behind my back — why did you come home with me at all?"

I remembered the showroom. The trial session. He'd been perfect that day. Eager, soft-voiced: Please take me home with you.

I'd paid full price for him and invested a fortune keeping him in peak condition.

Now I was the problem. And he was glowing warm for Mona Shaw.

He steered Mona toward the door, one hand on her back.

Jasper appeared beside me and gently pressed his thumb to the corner of my eye.

I picked up my phone and called Luminary support.

"Luca isn't working for me. Come pick him up."